These realistic self love habits will change your life.
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We all know we’re supposed to love ourselves, but these self love habits are practical ways to help you actually do it. I can’t promise it will be easy — not in the beginning, at least. Chances are you’ve got a lot of momentum going in the other direction.
The goal here to stop fueling the negative self image by adding new self love habits to your daily life that encourage a stronger self image. As with anything else, the longer you stick with it, the easier it will get for you.
In this post, I specifically discuss these 4 powerful self love habits and how they can help you change your life for the better:
Prioritize your bedroom as a sanctuary.
I haven’t been able to get this out of my head. My friend Ariane said something to me recently, and I just keep thinking about it. (Side note, you should be following her - she creates such beautiful, powerful content.)
She said that most of us spend all of our time focusing on the main rooms of our house, especially when we have kids, and we put our bedrooms last on the list. She pointed out how backwards that is.
We make sure the dishes are done and the living room is vacuumed and all the toys are picked up. Yet how often do we let the laundry pile up in our rooms, leave our beds unmade, and ignore the random clutter there?
We justify leaving our bedrooms for last because we know that the main rooms are the areas other people will see. And our bedrooms, we don’t stress about as much, because we figure no one but us has to see it.
This isn't wrong exactly. Honestly we shouldn’t be putting any pressure on ourselves to have any rooms in our house be spotless. But the point Ariane was making, the thing that resonated with me, is that putting our bedrooms last is often another sign that we’re putting ourselves last.
It doesn’t matter whether anyone else will see it. Our bedroom should be a sanctuary of sorts. It’s a great feeling to have a clean house and the dishes done before we go to bed, but it’s also a really good feeling to go to sleep in a clean room and to wake up in a tidy space.
Don’t neglect your inner space.
Stop suppressing your own desires.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you don’t make yourself stop wanting something just by pretending you don’t want it. We’re in a society that praises us for our sacrifices, but honestly what kind of life is that?
Maybe it’s time you stop letting what other people think dictate how you lead your own life. Perhaps being a martyr isn’t all that noble.
So often we think that by suppressing our own desires we’re somehow doing a favor for someone else. First of all, that’s a breeding ground for resentment. Secondly, you’re probably not actually helping the other person.
Let’s say you stay in a relationship because you feel obligated or you don’t want to hurt the other person. All you’re really doing is denying yourself and you’re sabotaging the other person’s chance to be in a relationship with someone who actually wants to be with them. Everybody fucking loses.
Moms, we’re the worst about this kind of stuff. You have to choose yourself more often. Let your child foster his independence, let other caregivers have a chance to bond with him, and give him the example of a person who loves herself.
I’m not saying you should “give in” to every little whim or thought that pops up. I’m saying, have a really honest conversation with yourself about what you want and let it truly be about you, ignoring everyone else for a moment.
Right now I’m on a fun little fitness journey so I don’t always let myself indulge in junk food like I once did. That’s only because what I want more than pizza is to feel good in my body again. Neither path is wrong. It’s merely about what I want at this place in my life.
Whether it’s a cupcake or a nose job or getting a new degree or moving to the beach, feel the joy of wanting something and love yourself enough to let yourself have it.
Self Love Habits #3 Pay attention to how you feel.
Our emotions serve such an important purpose. They let us know what we’re thinking about. Since our thoughts create our reality, you can surely see how significant this is.
We are inundated with so many thoughts throughout the day that it would be virtually impossible to sift through the them all. In the very least it would be tedious and keep us from gettin anything else done.
The good news is you don’t have to pay attention to every thought, you just have to pay attention to how you feel. So when you feel a sudden twinge of strong emotion, especially negative emotion, take note.
Then, instead of leaning into the negative emotion, reach for a thought that brings you a little bit of relief. Or distract yourself with something lighthearted and fun.
You’ll find that you don’t actually have to vent to a friend all the time or scribble in your journal or throw yourself a pity party or spend two hours dissecting your relationship with your significant other. Most of the time, if you don’t overly focus on the negative bullshit, it will just fade away. You’ll start naturally floating to the top of the emotional guidance scale.
(That said, if you find yourself repeatedly thinking the same negative thought or having the same icky emotions all the time, you’re gonna have to do some shadow work, my friend.)
Just as importantly, when you feel a spark of positive emotion — passion, excitement, happiness, love — embrace it! That’s your Inner Being telling you you’re on the right path.
Self Love Habits #4 Pace yourself.
You are where you are and it’s okay. Abraham Hicks has so much brilliant material, but this statement is the one I have scrawled on my heart. As a recovering perfectionist, it’s become my mantra.
I think the reason I have become so absorbed in the study of reincarnation is because it takes the pressure off. If I have more than one life, if I get more than one shot… If I get to come back and keep trying and growing and learning… then it’s okay if I fuck up.
I don’t have to create some giant legacy in this lifetime to prove I once existed, to prove I was worth something. If I am truly eternal, then there is no time shortage. Suddenly it’s okay for me to be exactly where I am. I can just… be.
It feels good to love myself just because of who I am and not because I’ve done something to “earn it.”
And it’s funny, because the moment I finally let myself just be, that’s when I feel myself aligning with my Source. That’s when I feel most inspired to action.
So I hope you will give yourself the same grace. Realize this: you don’t have to impress anybody. There’s nothing you’ve done that can’t be forgiven. You don’t have to prove yourself. You're already good enough. Wherever you are, it’s okay, because you can still get to where you want to go.
It’s called self love journey for a reason…
It’s a journey. A trek. A path. An adventure. A hike. It's not that a destination isn't fun. It's just that it implies you've finished. And that's not how this life works. You've got to learn to enjoy the experience because you're never going to arrive; you're never going to be done.
There will always be more things to learn, a new level to embrace. That's meant to be exciting, by the way, although it sounds terrifying or exhausting in some ways, ha.
It’s not easy learning to love yourself in a society that teaches you to compare yourself and compete against unrealistic standards. I hope you take these self love habits to heart and find the inner peace that comes with self acceptance. You are worth the effort.
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A little side note:
While these are my own words and my own interpretations, I am heavily influenced by Abraham Hicks and Seth/Jane Roberts, and I always highly recommend their materials. You can see a list of books by clicking here. If you want further information, feel free to reach out.